searching for the best

Again , I'm here. :) How you guys doin ? Hope everything's goes smoothly. Sorry if I'm using broken english. Tak salah mencuba kan. :)

Day by day , night by night , every second I asyik terfikir apa dah jadi selama ni. Lately ni macam-macam that I went through. Apa yang I boleh cakap , life's become more tough. Whether I yang buat silap , or orang yang cari pasal dengan I , I just can't stop thinking about that. Semua tu seriously buat I tak senang dengan semua benda. Why do I have to face all this ? After all I've sacrificed everything , and this is what yang I dapat.

 Now , I think it's time for me to just move on because life's so hard compared to before and I'm ready for it. Tersangat lah susah bagi I nak buat decision ni. I just kena cari kekuatan tu no matter what and I have to. I don't have any choice. I did the best for my life nor for others. And yes , it was really really hard for me , and for "people" who does not really care for me anymore. I guess. But whatever it is , I'm sorry for what I've done , and I'm waiting for the forgiveness. 

I have my family that always support me in whatever I do.  For friends , true friends , thanks for your support too. I'm not gonna forget you for real. 

So , as the conclusion , I just accept the way you treat me even walau teruk macam mana sekalipun. For me , just let bygones be bygones. I'm just a human that always make mistakes. And I'm not perfect. EVERYBODY'S not perfect. Thank you.

what's life's for

Hello guys. :)

Long time no see. Less than a month , many things can happen in the blink of an eye. Every day we go through of different feelings. And it's ME.

I pass my days with love , sorrow , trials and challenges. And that's really made me become more mature. I am a person who likes to "play" with emotions and I also have a conflict with it. I was easily offended and quite sensitive and I easily shed tears. But I am not the one who likes to take advantage of my advantage. Saja je cakap. :)

Bulan May dah nak berakhir. Nak masuk June dah. Masing-masing dah sambung belajar kat UITM , Matrix , and what.so.ever. Mostly lah. But still ada je yang tak start lagi. It's okay. Masing-masing tau apa yang mereka nakkan dalam hidup kan. But that's not the thing I'm gonna write here.

Lately , I perasan banyak benda yang jadi dalam hidup I. To be truth , benda yang betul-betul menguji kesabaran. And absolutely , it affects my emotions. I just could not accept what THEY did to me. Memalukan I secara terang-terangan. If I made mistakes , just come to me and tell me politely. Susah ke ? We're friends. Or maybe I je yang anggap kita kawan ? I don't know. It's just all this while , I hormatkan diorang. But at the end , they didn't.

I just don't understand what's life's for. Untuk sakitkan hati orang ? Untuk cari gaduh dengan orang ? Or untuk mengata and menghina orang ? I'm just glad that I still have people who cares about me. UNTUNG MASIH ADA YANG SAYANG kan..Besides friends , I have my family and my family is my life. 

Even I buat salah , I did asked for apologized. They shouldn't embarrassed me like so so rude. Day and night I keep thinking all about that. And it's really buat I pening kepala. My family tak pernah bosan nasihatkan I walaupun kadang-kadang benda tu simple and not so complicated. But whatever it is , I'm still glad to have my family. Seriously , they're my life. So what ?

Same goes to my friend , my true friend that still care about me anytime and whenever I need. You just always there to hear to me as a friend. I'm glad that I have people like you. I really appreciate it. Even we're not toooooooo close (TapiRasanyaDahKot) , but deep in my heart , you are still there to be my friend sampai kiamat !

Conclusion : To people like YOU , FRIENDS yang kononnya "friend" , as long as I don't give a shit to you , please belajar hormatkan orang lain okay ? All I want to say is , THANKS. :)

confuse

Hello again. Baru siang tadi update , I'm back. Hihi. 

May 6 , 12pm , result UPU keluar. I've checked. Frustrated. This is what we call , tak ada rezeki..And actually , my mum have planned to send me over into private college. 

I've been thinking about this all day long. Itupun mummy kata kalau lah tak dapat UPU. Then mummy suruh I buat rayuan. If I pegi UITM , nanti I akan dihantar jauh-jauh. I TAK NAK. I lagi prefer pergi college swasta. Boleh ulang-alik. Biar lah penat sikit daripada I tak boleh belajar sebab duduk jauh-jauh. Sedangkan one of my sisters dulu pun nangis-nangis nak balik,inikan pulak I. Mummy please...I don't wanna go that far....I promise,kalau mummy tak hantar I jauh-jauh , I will study as hard than before. 

Mummy cakap , dia nak I berdikari. Mummy , I study dalam KL pun , I can and I WILL. And now , I'm just hoping and pray for the best. 

Anyway , it's been 5 months I am free from school uniform , school rules and stuffs. And for sure , SPM ! Ahah , I dah tinggalkan zaman tu okay. I'm not school kid anymore ! And will continue my study in college. I am an adult. Yeah , I'm 18. I just don't care if you all nak gelak and think what I'm saying is something funny. It's my life. You don't feel what I feel. As long as I don't talk shit about you , so please don't dare to talk shit about me.

Well guys , "it" starts once you get into college. That's what we call LIFE. :)